Understanding the Desire for Power & Control

When people intentionally act to instill fear in or have control over others, it rewards them with a feeling of power. But what is the nature of this reward? If we investigate this question sufficiently, we can see that such "evil" behavior is not rooted in "malice" but ultimately stems from suffering and ignorance.

The ego's purpose is to provide safety and prosperity for itself (for the organism), and therefore it desires, among other things, predictability (certainty if possible). When the ego-construct feels powerful and in control over a situation or person, it feels a sense of security, rather than anxiety (fear of the unknown) in the face of an unpredictable situation or person. For the majority of people, it is fear (the most pernicious form of suffering) that drives such controlling behavior. They consciously or unconsciously seek to control in order to reduce their anxiety. Even when there is anger involved in the controlling behavior, fear is at its root.

However, for some people, ego can become warped over time such that the exercise of power, of control, is based on pleasure instead of fear. The more often, and more strongly, an ego feels rewarded (neurochemically) through its alleviation of anxiety through controlling behavior, the more the behavior becomes motivated by the reward itself. Seeking a neurochemical pleasure response becomes the underlying (if unconscious) motivation for power and control. This is also the case for abused people who become abusers and for the very small percentage of people who are genuine psychopaths/sociopaths.

For the majority of people, controlling behavior is based on fear, whereas, for the minority it is based on a desire for pleasure. Regardless, fear and desire are causes of suffering for the perpetrator, not just for their victims. Furthermore, it is only through ignorance that people engage in such behavior at all. For psychopaths/sociopaths, the ignorance is in the form of lacking empathy due to neurological deficits they have no personal capacity to overcome. For all others, the ignorance is a lack of conscious awareness of why they are behaving the way they are, and a lack of understanding that their desire for certainty or pleasure actually cause themselves suffering and that such desire can be safely given up to attain a greater peace and joy.

If we can have compassion for such people (while of course preventing them from causing additional harm), we can motivate them to change by helping them to see into the underlying nature of their behavior and help them realize the greater reward on the other side of their veil.