Sexual Repression is the Problem, Not the Solution

“To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.” – The Matrix

If you want to understand why there is so much negative/harmful sexual expression in society you need to understand sexuality as being a fundamental and natural expression of our creative life-force (energy), and that mode of creative expression has been culturally repressed, suppressed, and shamed to everyone’s detriment for hundreds of years.  This sexual energy within people is like a gently simmering pot of water – if you put a heavy lid on it, pressure will steadily build up to the point that the pressure can no longer be contained and there is a sudden, uncontrolled outburst of steam.  This can take the form of sexual harassment, sexual exploitation of women, excessive use of pornography, child sexual abuse, some instances of rape, etc.  Only when a person’s needs for sexual expression are not allowed a healthy social outlet do they take on a “dark” (self-serving), frustrated, or desperate expression.  That which you suppress becomes your “shadow” and it is the shadow-self that causes harm to self and others.

Masturbation is not a long-term solution (especially for men, who are much more root/sacral chakra centered in their self-expression than women, who are more heart-centered) because sexuality is ultimately a universal impulse of creation expressed through spiritual union (holistic reunion).  Masturbation may release some of that pent up sacral energy for a time, but that is a very limited form of sexual expression that does not provide the emotional, psychological, and spiritual bonding rewards that are deeply subconscious yet powerful needs we all have as individually-incomplete energy beings.

Although people are responsible for their actions to the extent they actually have self-awareness and self-control to make a choice outside of habit or impulse, society is overwhelmingly to blame for the huge suppression of sexual expression that has placed people in a sexual “pressure cooker”, through unnatural conservative values, legal prohibitions, and a lack of empowering education regarding the spiritual meaning and non-mechanical aspects and dynamics of sexuality.  Society is also worthy of blame to the extent it has failed to empower people with the knowledge, wisdom, and techniques required for genuine self-awareness and self-discipline.  Furthermore, corporations of various kinds have largely hijacked our views about sexuality, corrupting them and constantly triggering lust to favor their profit motives.

While we are seeing love-based “sex positive” values begin to get a foothold in our collective culture, this is not enough.  Cultural and legal hindrances to sexual expression must be withdrawn, corporations must be held to task for corrupting sexual values, people need to be better educated about the greater nature and meaning surrounding sexual behavior, and safe social outlets for such expression should be encouraged.  Such actions “just make sense” when you simply acknowledge and appreciate human nature for what it is and understand social dynamics from a systems theory perspective.  In this area, as in most others in which we have collective problems, what is needed most is a controlled decompression of tensions, so that peace, harmony, and love can be restored to prominence.

On the Future of Democracy

I discuss, on a systems-thinking level, how the basic structure of our current discussions are the root of the problem, and suggest a more holistic, bottom-up approach that is ideal for a genuine, technology-based democracy.

Gender Inequality (Response to a College Assignment)

[Originally posted: Wednesday, February 03, 2010]

My overall interpretation of "Gender, Race, and Class in Silicon Valley" was that the primary issue creating inequality (of treatment, opportunity, and support) between the sexes in 'stereotypically male' industries is the common perception, by both sexes, of what gender role constructs are accepted and expected.  Personal family experiences and other cultural influences have shaped the beliefs, attitudes, and perceptions of past and current generations of men and women concerning gender roles.  I found it somewhat surprising that, at least as represented by this author (despite her own gender), the majority of women are as guilty of possessing gender perceptions that propagate workplace inequality as men are.

Despite the continued prevalence of this socioeconomic inequality between the sexes, it is my opinion that the average trending, especially in the U.S. from the mid-20th century to the present, towards more socially liberal attitudes and beliefs in society is gradually eroding the prevalence of the traditional role constructs that are largely responsible for the current gender inequalities.  Therefore, I find it at least relatively reasonable to believe that the pervasiveness of this problem will continue to steadily dissipate over the next few decades.

I thought it would be interesting to point out an example of work-related discrimination that is often experienced by men for similar reasons: male nurses.  A typical perception is that women have a significantly higher capacity for empathy and ability to care for others to a higher interpersonal standard, and that it is not the place of men to have such an occupation.  Therefore, as has been related to me from a female RN, male nurses are far more likely to have to deal with patients that mistreat or devalue them and their work, and are also likely to experience a slightly increased challenge in establishing or maintaining male-male friendships because of their occupation.  Again in this case, persistent cultural role constructs have formed the personal perceptions that feed these (arguably negative) behaviors and reactions.

One particular line in "Violence Against Women" really stood out for me.  "Violence therefore operates as a means to maintain and reinforce women's subordination."  Clearly men who are violent towards women usually consciously or instinctively justify their behavior, at least partially, based on socially-propogated constructs of what a 'real man' is expected to be physically, psychologically, and in their interpersonal behaviors, which include an inherent perception espousing male domination and female subordination through these various socially-promoted male attributes.  As the quoted sentence implies, more often than not, the reason for the violent behavior is to maintain and reinvigorate the man's self-perception of having the aforementioned qualities defined by the prevailing social expectations.  Although I realize I'm treading a fine line here and do not claim women are at all directly responsible for the violence against them, I would suggest that womens' acceptance of these same gender constructs is an underlying reason for the stubborn persistence (staying-power) of individual relationships in which violence has taken place.  I would argue that if abused women had been raised in a social environment in which women were taught and expected to think and behave in ways that were truly equal to men in all practical respects, those same women would be far, far more likely to end an abusive relationship promptly.